Love, Sex, Sins and Porn
by Mariah April May
Summary: Damon S is a famous former porn actor. Elena G belongs from a very religious Catholic family. At a party, when their eyes met, fireworks go off, and they fall in love with each other. Now Elena is taking Damon to meet her family, but will Damon's past be an obstacle in their happiness. Comedy. Romance and lots of sex. 3 chapters. Warning: Please don't get offended.
1. Love

**Title: Love, Sex, Sins and Porn.**

Summary: Damon S is a famous former porn actor. Elena G belongs from a very religious Catholic family. At a party, when their eyes met, fireworks go off, and they fall in love with each other. Now Elena is taking Damon to meet her family, but will Damon's past be an obstacle in their happiness. Comedy. Romance and lots of sex. 3 chapters.

* * *

 **Chapter 1: 'Love and Sins'**

* * *

As I stepped onto the porch to enter the house, I felt a sense of nervousness, I looked back at the car, my beautiful girlfriend was behind the wheel, picking up her handbag.

She jumped out of the car, gracefully, and closed the door. She smiled a smile that almost stole my breath away, but that wasn't new, everything she did stole my breath away. My heart would race, and I would feel like I couldn't move. It was the same feeling I felt when I first saw her. It never changed.

"You okay?" She asked, concerned.

"Peachy."

"Oh. Oh. Your jacket." She said as she set his collar. "Daddy doesn't like it like that."

"Baby, please call him dad. That term just makes me so uncomfortable. I have heard it use for me so many times and I don't recall any one moment it was appropriately used." I replied, cringing.

"Ew. Gross. Damon." She smacked my arm playfully. "Are your legs shaking?" She pulled him closer, "They are going to love you, just like I do. And even if they don't, it doesn't matter, I'm yours and you're mine. And nothing can change that,"

And that right there melted my heart. She was so crazy for me just like I was for her. She was literally going all her beliefs for me, and that meant more to me than anything. I bit my lip, nodding, so that she'd know that I'm confident but actually, it wasn't the case at all, in fact for the first time, I was afraid, afraid of the fact that they would recognize me, and they'll throw me out of the house. Of course, no one in their right mind would like the fact that their beautiful daughter was in love with an adult movie actor. I wasn't ashamed of it and neither was Elena. She never cared about my past. She loved me inspite and despite of it. She loved me like no one could love anyone, she loved me, cared for me, tended to my mood swings, worried for me, she was just perfect. This was the reason sometimes I felt I didn't deserve her.

But then again, if the world believed that she was meant for me than I wasn't a fool enough to lose her.

"Don't worry, they won't recognize you. And if they do, I don't care that you used to be a…, an actor," She said as if she could read my mind.

I smirked, just loving how much she could understand me and the fact that she couldn't even say that word with the straight face. "Porn Actor,"

"I was gonna say adult movie actor but does it really matter,"

"you can't even say it with a straight face,"

"We don't have to hide it, I'm not ashamed of you," She said.

It was my choice that Elena's parents don't know about my past. They were very religious, so religious that they frowned upon pre martial sex, they'd die of horror if they knew. They'd shun Elena and I didn't want that.

"No matter happens, I'm with you," She whispered holding my hand.

"Can you read my mind or something?" I asked, cocking my head.

She let out a giggle. "Okay, ready?"

"Yes."

"Let's do this,"

..

..

I had seen some real crackheads but nothing had prepared me for the circus that was Elena's family. She had told me beforehand that she had a huge family. As she liked to put it, they were an extremely godly family.

When I entered the house, her mother welcomed with a huge cheesy grin and her father with a frown.

"Mom, Dad." She ran toward them and took them in a warm hug.

"My baby!" Her mom enveloped her arms around her while her father gave her an awkward side hug, still glaring at me.

"Oh, I missed you so much." Her mother said, silently weeping.

"Now, now, Isobel, control the tear works, we have our daughter back." Her father said, "I hope the big city experience didn't change you and you're still our Elena, the Elena that we raised with our family values,"

"Oh, stop it, John, and hug her," A woman much younger then Elena's mother said.

"Welcome back, love!" John, Elena's father said as he took her in his arms and gave her a very formal hug.

"Who is that hotness?" That woman interfered again, turning the family's attention to me.

"Father, this is… the man I told you about. Damon Salvatore and this is my father John Gilbert."

"Pleased to meet you, sir, I have heard so much,"I offered my hand in a handshake that he took firmly.

"And Damon, this is my mom, Isobel Gilbert."

"No way, she's like your elder sister." I feigned surprise, and her mom seemed to love it.

"Oh, he is so charming." She almost swooned.

Elena rolled her eyes, she knew how good I was with women, I worked magic here.

"Elena's father looks old enough to be your father too," I almost bit on my tongue, did I really say that out loud.

Elena looked at me with shocked eyes, as if she was saying really? And so did Isobel and the other lady with her.

"and that's my aunt Jenna." Elena introduced, breaking the awkward silence.

"Please, come inside." Jenna said with a wide grin.

..

The dining room was small, or maybe there were too many people here. Elena had three siblings. Tyler, Jeremy and Caroline. They were helping with decorating the tree with their distant English cousins, Klaus, Elijah, Rebekah, Kol and Finn. That wasn't it, she had so many damn cousins. Matt, Lizzie, and Josie were Jenna's children, her uncle Alaric was here, sitting on the table across me too. And if that wasn't enough her father's elder brother Doctor Grayson Gilbert and his wife Miranda Grayson with their daughter April and their adopted daughter Bonnie was here too. And just when I thought her family can't get any bigger, her grandmother Jo came downstairs.

"You look so familiar," Grandma Jo asked me, almost making me choke on water. "Have we met before?"

Elena's eyes widened. "Of course not," She said quickly, "He's lived in Italy all his life, no way you met him before."

"So, Mr. Salvatore-," Elena's father turned his attention to me.

"Please call me Damon,"

"Aha, sure. We were all so excited when Elena told us she'll be bringing her fiancé over this Christmas,"

She had fought all her family when they told her she couldn't choose her husband alone. Her family was very conservative, they controlled their children like robots. She had to argue with her parents to make them respect her choice, a concept so alien to me, my parents never cared, so long as I wasn't hurting anyone. But I knew her parents meant so much to her, so I have to win them over too, for her.

"Please sit," Jenna pulled the chair for me, while Elena greeted the rest of the family.

Why was everyone staring at me as if I was a lion caged in the center of zoo.

"He is so hot." Jenna murmured.

"Excuse me Jenna. I'm terribly sorry, Damon, we don't use that kind of crude language in our house. Jenna is a mother now but she's still a teenager at heart." John excused for her 'crude' behavior when I thought she was the most normal of them all.

"It's okay. Mr. Gilbert."

Damon was about to reach for the mashed potatos when Mr. Gilbert coughed. "Uhm. Let's pray first, shan't we?"

"Of course," I corrected, you dumbass, I told myself. "I always pray before I eat, sometimes I pray twice, and sometimes I pray so much that I forget to eat at all, I just love the Lord so much," I muttered nonsense. Just stop. I told myself.

He shook his head in dismay and continued. "Then why don't you say grace today?"

"Uhh. Bless us, O Lord, and these, Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty. Through Christ, our Lord. Amen." I proceeded with a cross. Of course I had memorized it. I had to watch (suffer would be the right word) several youtube tutorials to act like the 'godly man' that Elena's father would approve of but then again I could do anything for Elena.

"Good." John seemed impressed.

"Thank God."I sighed.

"The way he says God, it's like I have heard his voice before." Grandma Jo said in a confused tone.

Jenna's brows furrowed, "I think I did too."

Jesus. Please don't tell me these old ladies had been watching and wanking to my porn. God, they must have seen my ass crack too. Oh Lord! Kill me.

"Calm down." Elena mouthed.

I nodded.

"Rice?" Isobel said.

"No, thank you." Damon replied.

"So, Damon, tell us about you, what do you do?" Alaric, Elena's uncle eyed me suspiciously.

"Well, I have a car workshop, I have passion for cars, I also have a showroom for vintage cars."

"So you're a college drop out?" Miranda made a face.

"No. Of course not," I am a high school dropout, but I didn't mention that to that snobby bitch.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I always tell my daughters to go for guys who have at least went through college. Post college studies, Men are more mature." She said snobbishly. "that's how Gray and I met."

"yes, I have heard about your college love story," I replied, Elena had warned me beforehand not to ask them, they love to go over the details of how they met, I didn't want to hear their version of How I met Doctor Grayson Gilbert!

"So, how did you two met?" she asked.

"It's a long story, maybe some other time," I replied, but regret the next minute when she returned the favor by telling me how she met Grayson.

"Do you go to church?"

"Yes. Every Sunday." I bit my tongue, I wasn't supposed to say that. Of course, I started going to church once I started dating Elena, but before that I was atheist by heart. I started believing in God when once Elena was really sick, she had typhoid and I couldn't bear to see her in pain. The atheist in me died that night when I stayed up with her in hospital, and prayed to God to make her well again. I decided to visit church every Sunday after that.

However, Elena's father didn't approve of that. He believed godly men should go to church every day.

"Why? Are you too busy for the Lord on other days?" He said cheekily.

"No. No. I…" I stumbled for words.

"Dad, he prays at home!" Elena lied, even though I knew she hated lying.

"Yes, I'm on bible study all the time, sometimes, on date nights, Damon and I are discussing His Almighty,"She continued.

I smirked, sure we do. I make her keep calling the Lord's name in vain, as she comes down from mind numbing orgasm. Just the mere thought of her sweaty body underneath while I suck on her nipples, and fuck the living day lights of her, had me hard, if only these people would disappear and I could throw her on the table and make love to her until-,"

"Are you okay?" Rebekah, her cousin asked me.

The massive steal like hard on, was almost killing me.

"Uh. I'm… I'm fine."

"So, Damon, which church do you go to?"

"The one near my house."

I don't know why everyone laughed.

"He's a riot." Elijah said, wiping a tear off his eye. "Keep this one."

"You know I swear, I have seen you before." Klaus interrupted.

"Me too." Jeremy added.

"He just have one of those faces," Elena said, nervously.

"Honey, have you made sleeping arrangements for Mr. Salvatore." John asked his wife.

"Yes, he'll be sleeping with the boys in the garage."

"Oh okay."

"Let me help you with dishes." I said, making an excuse just to get out of under everyone suspicious eyes.

"Ops." Mrs. Gilbert dropped a spoon.

"Please, let me." I said as I bent over to pick it up.

"Hey. I have seen that butt before." Grandma Jo said loudly. Everyone turned to face me.

..

..

Dear readers!

I hope this made you laugh enough

In the next chapter, Damon and Elena will have lots of lemon scenes and the story of how they met! Also Damon and John go to church.

This is only the beginning. Do tell me if you enjoyed! And if you would like for me to add something!

Do review

Happy Holidays!


	2. Porn and Sex

**Chapter 2: 'Porn'**

* * *

Old hag. How can she recognize my ass in pants. Her family is filled with perverts. I thought, swallowing a lump down my throat.

"Mother, please." John shook his head. "Excuse my mother, Damon. The old age has gotten to her head."

"If I am old then you're a young turd," She replied.

"Mother," John gasped. "What's gotten into you?"

"She probably hasn't been banged for ages," I almost said out loud but stopped right in the nick of time. "We don't use that kind of language in the house. I'm so very ashamed."

"Please, don't be." I said, cringing.

"So, let me show you to your room," John motioned to the living room.

"Yes, sir." I followed him, hesitantly, looking back to see where my girlfriend was. She was talking with Jenna, now dressed in PJ's.

"Elena," John glared at her.

"Yes, daddy,"

"What on earth are you wearing?" John looked so embarrassed and I couldn't figure out why.

"The big city has changed you so much, you're showing way too much skin in the house, there are kids here." John whispered.

My eyes widened. Elena was showing skin! Where? I mean she was covered from head to toe. She had packed herself the simplest PJ's she could find.

"Oh sorry, daddy." Elena said, as she closed the top button that was hardly showing her cleavage.

John shook his head, dismayingly. "This is what I was afraid of."

"I'm really sorry, daddy."

"I don't see what the problem-,"

"She's my daughter, I know what's right for her." John said, strictly. "Of course, you men are going to like when they get trashy-," He mumbled under breath.

I sighed a heavy sigh. Such a conservative, what would he say if he finds out about the true me.

"So, Damon, tell me son, does your parents go to church?" He asked as he led me upstairs.

"Yes. My parents do." I lied. I know it was wrong but I was desperate to get Elena and I wanted Elena to have her family in her life too, she couldn't have both unless I lied.

"Oh, so they raised you with values like I did with my Elena?"

"Yes, sir, my parents were such church fans, we had three bible reading times,"

"yes, reading bible brings inner peace, however, it's the following of the commands that matters, tell me son, do you follow what bible teaches?" He asked as he opened the door.

What the bloody fuck was he saying?

"I beg your pardon, sir."

"I'll tell you tomorrow. Be ready in the morning, we will be attending mass,"

"on a weekday?" I asked, bewildered.

"Yeah, any problem." He rose a brow.

"No sir,"

He slammed the door shut on me.

..

..

I had just taken a cold shower. It was only ten and everyone was asleep, after an hour of bible study with John. He maintained a very strict discipline in the household. God, how did my warm and beautiful girl bear with him, while growing up, why wasn't she fucked up in the head?

I was lost in my thoughts as I opened the energy drink can, my disguised beer, I wasn't stupid to not bring my safety alcohol, it would help me suffer the farce that I was putting up. Elena was sweet enough to warn me that alcohol of all type was banned inside the house premises. God, I missed her. I missed her warmness, her sweet smile, her cuddles, and her kisses, especially her kisses. I loved making out with her. I often complained to her that we didn't make out enough.

Let's say I had corrupted Elena a lot. Her father didn't know but she wasn't so innocent anymore. Just the thought of her naked sweaty body, as I kissed down her neck to her breast filled my mind, I could feel my dick harden.

"Someone is missing me," I heard a chuckle from the window.

"No fucking way," I gaped.

"Shh. No bad words in the house." She jumped inside as the robe fell open, revealing the hot red lingerie I'd had bought her on her birthday.

I hissed as I pulled her to the bed and rolled on top of her.

"What about bad clothes?" I whispered, nuzzling her neck. You couldn't even call them clothes, they were revealing more than they were hiding, tempting me more.

"What can I say, I'm a bad girl," She whispered in my ear.

There she was, my naughty minx. She was such an angel in daylight but at night time, she was the sex goddess, that any man would wish for.

Before I could reach for her lips, she rolled us over and sat on top of me. "Shh." She whispered as she put a finger on my lips. I closed my eyes in great reprieve as I kissed her finger. I could feel her smiling as she dropped feathery kisses down my neck to my chest, opening buttons of my shirt slowly and touching her lips sensually against my skin.

"Elena." I whispered her name like a prayer, and it was. I felt her moving up to my lips and before her lips could touch mine, suddenly her body weight over me disappeared. I look up to find her standing near the door of the room.

"What are you playing at girl?" I asked her, suspiciously.

She opened the lock of the door and tip toed outside.

"Elena, your father will see us!" I whispered.

But it seemed like she had other plans.

I rolled my eyes, and closed the two buttons of my shirt, picked up her robe and followed her.

"Where are you going?" I mouthed as I chased after her.

It seemed like she was taking me to the basement so no one would hear us. Good thinking! I commended her mentally.

I saw her hide behind some paint tins, my baby girl was in mood to play. Well, no worries, baby girl, daddy got you. Yikes, my inner porn star can't die that easily. I quietly tip toed, around and grabbed her by her wrist, and pulled her to me.

"Oh, dear, what are you doing, sir?" She batted her eyelashes innocently.

"Kidnapping you,"

"And what would you do with me?'

"Kiss you, make out with you, fuck the living day lights out of you." I said as he pulled her down to the floor.

As I ripped away her bra, I kissed her neck—licking and sucking right over her pulse point, knowing how that drove her crazy.

"Oh, Damon."

Yeah, baby girl, that's right say my name.

Still, kissing and caressing, I took of her bra and then her panties. I kissed every inch of her neck, her breasts, her torso, her hips, the one spot on her that made her toes curl and kissed every inch of her all the way back up to her lips, reminding myself that this beautiful girl, was mine, for life.

It was something I always did whenever I made love to her. Sex wasn't just sex with Elena. It was so much more than that. It was like I was worshipping her, like she was some delicate pureness, that I had to worship with my lips, I had to show her how beautiful she was and how much I needed her. It was a need.

I have had all type of sex, back in the day. It had always been about pleasure for me. Sick carnal pleasure. For myself and for audience. I was in the business because I liked doing it. I was so good at it, why not get paid for it. I had been a male escort for a time being too. I have had sex with all type of women. But none of them made me feel like Elena did.

Sex with her wasn't about pleasure, it was about going close to her, it was about touching her, kissing the sweetness of her skin, smelling the fragrance of her being, it was about loving her.

I entered her with such a rush that she gasped for air and our lips would not part until they were satisfied with discovering each others tastes and likes. "Don't stop," she murmured as I filled her completely. I fucked her like I hadn't fucked any woman before. It wasn't again just fucking to me, it was being close, it was having the privilege to look in her eyes as I brought her pleasure, as I made her scream my name, as I made her weak to the whims of my cock.

Before we knew it, we were both all sweaty, gasping to breath, coming down from so much pleasure.

"I love you," I murmured as I held her close to me. I didn't know why everytime after sex, I just needed to hold her like that. This had never happened before to me. But for the past year, this was a must. I would cling to her everytime. She'd sometimes even complain that I was too clingy but that was me and she just had to deal with it.

"I love you more." She said sweetly and I chuckled.

"How am I so lucky to have you in my arms?" I said, with a dramatic gasp.

"I beg to differ; I think I'm the lucky one."

"Thank you, Stefan, for bringing her to the party that day." I said loudly, making her laugh.

"That was a horrible thing you did to your brother," She slapped my chest.

"Hey, I didn't know he'd be bringing his pal from work with him."

"But an orgy at his house?"

"In my defense, he was having a hard time recovering from his break up, back in the day, I thought free sex with best porn stars in the industry would cheer him up."

"I was so mortified, walking into a living room full of naked people having sex," She blushed deep red as she remembered.

"And there I was, all sexy and naked, with a welcome banner,"

"Stefan made me apologize to you," I added, quickly.

"You came to my school with banquet and tried to charm me," Elena laughed, remembering how nervous he had been.

"hey, I had a serious crush on you," I pouted. "But you shot me down."

"yeah, I thought we were so different we could never work,"

"but here we are,"

"About to get married," She completed me.

"and we have never been happier."

"You know I fell in love with you?" She asked, as she looked at me.

"Why?"

"because whatever devil you're outside, you have a very sweet innocent heart," She pointed to my chest, "and you'd do anything for me,"

"You know why I fell for you?"

"Why?"

"because you never judged me," And that was true. Elena loved me despite and inspite of my choices.

..

..

One of Elena's hand was holding the fork, munching down the breakfast, while her other hand was in my pants, holding my cock. This minx, testing my patience. Don't blame me if I come in her hand now, while we are having breakfast.

"Damon, can you please help me, pick these up?" She said after breakfast.

"Sure, baby," I said as I picked the plates up. As soon as we were gone to the kitchen she pushed me against the wall and attached her lips to mind, her warm tongue was inside my mouth as she explored it. Oh, you naughty girl. I thought as I held her and turned us over so she was against the wall now. I kissed her until she couldn't breath. I moved down her lips to her jaw as I allowed her to breath.

"God damn, I can never get over you,"

"WHO SAID THAT WORD," I halted when I heard John shout. "Who dares to say the D word in my house? This is a holy house, you don't say those words here."

I pulled back, my hard dick now flaccid.

"Mr. Salvatore? Where are you?"

"Coming sir!" I said as I rolled my eyes and went outside, looking back at my girlfriend mouthing me 'goodluck'.

…

"I can't help imagining how much awesomer the world would be if your grandfather had just pulled out." I whispered to Elena as we reached the church in the small van filled with almost a million people. Again, did her family does not know the concept of condoms. So many darn kids.

"Damon, can you please hold Ana?" Rebekah said as she handed her baby daughter to me.

"No." I wanted to say but I couldn't because I am whipped.

"Children. They are so beautiful, aren't they?" John said as he pulled at the cheeks of little Ana.

I nodded.

"What do you think Damon?"

"What about, sir?"

"Children?" John said as if it was obvious.

"Well, umm. Elena and I hadn't exactly planned-,"

"Bible has a very non-negotiable divine commands to have as many children as God gives, and at whatever interval a mother can conceive them. Denying that would be denying God." John said, outraged.

"but, you see I can't just have a go at it, all the time, it's basically Elena's decision." I tried to speak.

"What non sense? I raised Elena with my values."

"So, you're saying is that, if I can, I should have 20 kids,"

"If that's the god's plan."

"No sir, it's only okay to have 20 kids, if you're running an orphanage." I nearly screamed but I just swallowed a lump down my throat.

"Tell me son, have you ever dated before, I mean you're a charming young man," John asked.

"Uhh,"

"Consider me your friend, don't be shy," John winked.

"Well, Johnny my boy," I said but then hushed up when he glared at me, "I mean sir, there had been some, but Elena is the only one that mattered."

"What about… whackabam!"

"Excuse me?" What the fuck was wrong with the old man?

"I mean, did you have ever had like had bang bang bangidy bang?"

For fuck sake, was he talking about sex. He can't even say the word. Well, he be mortified of all the things I did to his daughter. Maybe he will die after hearing what I did. How cool? Should I tell him, nah, Elena would be sad, I thought, quickly deciding not to tell him.

"You know, I didn't sleep with my wife, before we were married. Did you?" John asked.

"I don't know, what was her maiden name again." I said before I could even think it over and regretted it the moment John's eyes widened. "I mean, no sir, Elena and I are pure, as pure as eye of heaven,"

"I know so, I trust my daughter," John said, visibly shaken still. "So, tell me son, how much do you know about our religion, I know Elena would never choose an ungodly man."

"Well, I am as godly as it can be," I lied through my teeth.

"So confident, I like that." He smiled a wide smile, "Tell me son, at what time of the day was Adam created?"

"Uh, a little before Eve," I replied after a long pause.

His mouth fell. "Oh. Joke. Ah. Nice. But seriously, uh, okay, tell me, where was Solomon's temple located?"

"Near his head." I replied, biting on my lower lip nervously.

John's face fell more, realizing now that I knew very little about the thing dear to him most. "Ugh, I hate this dating culture," he murmured. "Why did she had to go and date the dumbest of them." Maybe he said something of that sort but I couldn't hear him, he was too low for me to hear.

"No one dated a hundred years ago and they still got married, Adam never had a date with Eve," He was talking to himself now.

"No, he only had an apple." I said, a little proudly. See, I knew this stuff. Good one Damon!

But somehow John wasn't happy, he seemed like he was ready to pull his hair out of his head.

"Just listen!" He said as he took Ana from me.

Rebekah was glaring at me as if I'd stole her husband from her.

"What?"

"You cannot be serious." She said with a disgusted look. "Oh my god, you're really that dumb."

"Excuse me," I said, obviously, my fragile ego was hurt. "Those were such simple questions and you didn't even know that, do you really know about your religion."

"I do know. I don't show it off like you lot." I was getting a little uncomfortable now.

"And what's up with your shirt, why are you wearing this thing?" She said as she looked at me as if I was some dirty hooker. "Your hair is dirty, did you sleep on the floor or something."

Yes, with your cousin. I thought.

"You should wash it," She whispered.

"Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither." And with that I shut her up once and for all.

But this wasn't over yet, because this family was starting to realize that I wasn't who I told them I was.

..

..

Elena was silently laughing at my pouty face when I came home from church. First time in our relationship I was the one being all red, confused and not the cocky person I usually was. She thought it looked cute. It was far from lunch time. When she saw me alone in the study going through her father's book collection with judgmental looks. She walked right behind me and slightly scared me by jumping from behind.

"MotherFesus!"

"What!"

"I was going to say Motherfucker but then I thought maybe this was some surprise test if Jesus would be the first thing outta my god damn mouth when someone jumps to kill me,"

She rolled her eyes, "Your being way too over dramatic."

I narrowed my eyes to her, "Once we get this over with, we will visit only after a decade on Christmas."

She chuckled, "Oh no, we should come here more often, that's when I see you all sweaty, not in control , all scared-" she pulled at my collar bringing him closer.

"Your father will show up any second."

"Your point?"

"Get your pretty little hands off me." I looked around as she leaned in my neck.

"Baby please-," I sighed as she kissed my jaw line.

When we heard the sound from the door, she pushed me away instantly and I bumped into the rack hurting my elbow. "OH GOD!" I squeezed my eyes shut, it did hurt like a bitch.

Thank god it wasn't John, it was Jenna and Elena's grandma, 'weird Joe'.

"Boy, that moan, that is so familiar," Grandma commented with narrowed her eyes.

Fuck you, Pervy Grandma. I thought, glaring at her.

Jenna eyed us both. I was holding my left elbow while Elena was picking up the fallen books. "I kinda walked in suddenly, he jumped back and-,"

Jenna huffed, "Suuuure , that sounds so real."

She bit her lip refusing to look at me, "Jens!"

I changed the topic, "Pretty good collection I've never seen so many-,"

Grandma almost laughed, 'Not seen so many piled plain bullshit."

I didn't want to answer or comment on extreme religious books. What if it was a test?

Jenna leaned against the table, "I read one of your facebook post from 2011, eh, pretty good jokes here and there."

Elena smiled , "Really? What?"

What the fuck? Not that. Please god, not that.

Jenna took out her phone reading a screenshot maybe, "What's a porn star's favorite Tolkien story? Answer is – Lord of the cock rings."

Elena turned red seeing my clenched jaw, "Yeah I didn't post that, my friend did eh, I just forgot to take it down."

Jenna snickered, "Sure you didn't. Mister Monsterdick21 on myspace."

I blushed hard, "Umm I can explain that-,"

Jenna giggled, "It's okay man, I know we all have a little phase."

Elena looked at him disappointed, when they left looking for John. Before she could interrogate him further she heard her father call her, she gave him a glare, "This isn't over!"

"Baby I-"

She stomped on his foot, "You couldn't clear all that up."

"Oouh!" she pushed her hand against his lips, "No more of your sex noise."

"I didn't even remember I have a myspace and seriously 2011, she has a stalking prob-,"

She pushed him, "You need a damn baptism Mister Monsterdick."

"don't pretend like you're too innocent," I said, holding her wrist.

"but I am," she batted her eyelashes

"And that's what made me fall for you," I pulled her closer. And again, the door burst open.

"For the love of God," I muttered.

"Oh, you two," Rebekah glared.

"Hey, Bekka. Damon and I were just talking about… books."

"Ah! My favorite book," She said as she picked up the biggest of the lot. "It taught me so much, without the ugly in the world, they're would be no beautiful' Rebekah said, with a dramatic sigh.

"Thank you for your sacrifice," I replied with a smirk.

"Damon!" Elena looked shocked.

"It's okay, Elena." Rebekah was fuming inside but she managed to smile. "Damon and Uncle had a very interesting conversation today, it's just Damon isn't as godly as uncle thought." She added.

"Well, it doesn't matter, I love him, I will love him from both of us," She said, stubbornly.

"Uncle will make the final decision though. By the way, I came here to tell you about the dinner, Damon. Uncle and you're going for dinner tonight, you have a last chance to make your impression or you lose Lena forever."

..

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* * *

I hope you enjoyed this.

Tell me about if you're liking Damon's POV.

I would love to know if the jokes made you laugh and what was your favorite.

Also, Happy New Year.

Here's to an amazing, adventure filled, safe and beautiful life!

Love you all Xoxo

All hail DE Fandom!


	3. Love isn't a sin

**Chapter 3: 'Love isn't a sin'**

* * *

"I don't wanna lose you," I said as I held on to her hand.

"you will not." She said as she kissed on the tip of my nose.

"but what if tonight I mess up again." I made a face.

"You won't and even if you do, Damon, I and…," She placed my hand on her tummy and smiled, "and our bundle of joy would stand by you no matter what,"

My eyes were wide open, in surprise.

She smiled a very shy smile, the very smile that I loved, that I would die for, "I… found out that last night. I am pregnant, Damon." She looked at me with so much hope and love that I didn't know what to say. We'd been trying for a child for a couple of months, our doctor had told us that Elena had some problem due to which, it was unlikely she'd ever get pregnant, she was heart broken and told me to leave her be, since she'd been taught by her family that a woman who couldn't bear a child was no good, but I told her that it never mattered to me and that she was the women that I wanted to spend my life with.

Right now, all I could think was that, I could die for her, I love her and I loved the life we had created. Of course, I was so nervous. I didn't know how to raise a kid, fuck, a couple of years ago, I never wanted kids. But I had Elena and I just knew she'd be a perfect mother.

I fell on my knees and hugged her stomach, as I was overwhelmed by emotions, "I love you. I love you so much." I kissed lightly on her stomach, over and over again, my eyes filled with tears.

"Are you happy?" She asked me.

"I… baby, I have everything in the world now, everything that I never knew I wanted," I laughed and half cried.

"I am happy." I said as I stood up facing her, I cupped her face and kissed her on the forehead.

..

..

I thought, the dinner would be an alone thing with me and John but the whole family was seated too, Elena held my hand from under the table, we didn't dare tell anyone about Elena's pregnancy because she told me John might get a heart attack if he knew his daughter was pregnant out of wedlock. Although I was up for it but Elena nudged me.

"These are the special fishes, you should have them, love." John said to Elena.

"Oh really."

"Damon, can you please pass the dam fishes." John said to me.

"Nice, now we are talking normal, where are the fucking fries?" Damon said with a big smile as he handed him a plate.

Elena nearly choked while everyone on the table either shouted or gave him a death glare.

"There are children here." Miranda shouted as she pressed Jeremy's ears.

"But Mr. John-,"

"He meant dam, Damon. Not the D word." Elena said.

"I didn't say he said dick,"

"What is wrong with you!" Isobel screamed.

"Damon, now, I'm going to ask you something that is very important." John said, as picked up the napkin.

"Yes, sir." I said, expecting to be asked, some very important question.

"Do you (a big pause) love god?"

I let out a chuckle, expecting everyone to join me, clearly this wasn't serious. But then when he didn't, I made it look like I was coughing, "Of course, I do."

I looked at Rebekah's husband who had been eyeing me throughout the visit, he smiled at me in a pretty weird way, wait, he wasn't gay right. Not that I had any problem. But there was this look in his eyes, the look of adoration.

"Good. We should all love God more than anything," John said with a deep breath.

I nodded. "yes totally. I even teach all the children in my building about how f-ing awesome God is and how to lead a good christen life!"

"Really?" He said finally impressed, "Well, after dinner, I want you to read God's words to us, I'd love to know more. Teach me and our children about the reason we came to this world."

Oh, fuck! Oh fucking fuck. Damn it, you idiot. I was internally screaming. I should have kept my mouth shut, oh, now, I'm so done.

Jenna looked at me with an evil smirk as if she couldn't get enough out of this situation.

If there was any God, he'd be laughing too. Jesus, if you're hearing this, please save me, I'm so fucked.

..

..

They were all looking at me as if I was a baboon with a drum, Elena was biting her lower lip to the point of bruising it. She was so nervous and so was I. Why couldn't I just shut the fuck up!

I looked over at Rebekah's husband who was strangely looking at me pants now. What? Was there something on them.

The family of twenty was sitting and staring at me. Jeremy was on couch, with bonnie and Caroline on his either sides, Rebekah and her husband, and Alaric had dragged chairs to the living room. John and Miranda were sitting on the swing, while Grayson and Isobel were seated next to them. Elena's english cousins were sitting on the floor, indian style, along with others. Grandma Jo was sitting in the middle, all ears to me.

I was a porn star, I had performed in front of the world but I had never been so nervous.

"God. What is God. Why should we love him?" I started. "God is (pause) God." John narrowed his eyes at my words, "And we should love him because, we just should. We should love him a lot, so much that when a bee stings us, it should go away singing because that's the power of God, baby."

Elena closed her eyes, probably thinking, I was off my rockers.

"He's there for you no matter. ipod, ipad, try ipray. It's free." I said confidently.

Rebekah gave me a glance, as if I was something pathetic, which I was.

"God changes life. My friend, Cherry was a junkie before she found God, but of course, that was the day she overdosed. Anyway, God is-,"

"Enough, Damon." John looked at him with disappointment.

"Please give me a chance, I am just warming up," I said nervously, thinking of all I remembered about ten commandments but Grandma Jo gasped.

"I REMEMBER YOU. I REMEMBER NOW. OH HOLY LORD." She shouted. "I remember him saying the same in that movie Tits a wonderful life."

"Grandma, please." Elena whispered.

"John. John. He's a pornstar." She said, as she pointed at me.

Shit, they knew. The old hag knew.

"Aha."Alaric snapped his fingers. "Yes, I knew that I knew him from somewhere. He was also in Star whores."

"Long Dong John." Jeremy said, "That was his name. Of course, how can I not remember."

"Oh yes." Klaus and Elijah said, narrowing their eyes as if they have just recognized him.

"OMG." Rebekah squeaked.

Her boyfriend murmured, "I for sure knew he resembled the actor from the movie few hard men."

Dear Lord, he had seen the movie where I played a gay actor too.

"Oh lord, yes, I had a feeling that I had seen him before." Isobel gasped.

"Knew it." Caroline pumped her fist.

"Oh yeah." Grayson said,nodding.

John looked at everyone, in his house and then to Damon.

"I'll get to you in a minute but does anyone in the house not watch porn?" John growled. "Mother, really? I'm ashamed."

Grandma Jo bit her lip in embarrassment.

Then John turned to me, his eyes were bloodshot, he looked like he wanted to murder me. "You immoral bastard, how dare you step into my house, you unholy beast."

"Sir, please," I wanted to say something but he continued, "and how dare you lay your dirty gaze on my pure daughter,"

"Dad, stop." Elena pleaded.

"Get out. Get out now. There is no place in my house for a person who not only commits adultery but also films it,"

"But I have left it." I tried to say.

"Oh, shut up. You… disgust me," he was enraged. "My Lord, forgive us, for I have kept my family under the gaze of this dirty, unholy-,"

"Sir, if I may-,"

"No, listen to me, you sinner, get out of my house, get out with your gonorrhea infected dick, God knows where you had stuck it," he shouted in rage.

"He used to be bisexual," Jeremy mentioned.

"Shut up, Jer, how do you know?" Jenna shouted back.

"I think I saw it in that movie where he sticks it in the dude's ass," Klaus said.

"Why would you watch that?" Rebekah shouted. "Are you gay?"

"No. But your boyfriend is," I told her.

"WHAT! You manwhore don't talk about my man like that," She shouted at me.

"Oh, don't hate me because I am who I am, hate me because your boyfriend had been ogling me ever since I have stepped inside the house, hate me because your boyfriend is more attracted to me than he'd be to you." I screamed back at her.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Grandma Jo shouted.

"Oh shut up. Old hag. Your eighty and you still watch porn. You knew me because you watch me, you dirty hoe."

"Oh my god." She screamed.

"Did you call my mother a whore?" John launched on me.

"Please, daddy." Elena stepped between us, but John pushed her to a side and jumped on me, "You fucker, I'll kill you."

"Your mother fap to me, I'm better off dead." I shouted back.

And before I could defend myself, Elena ran toward the sink and vomited, loudly. Silence filled the room as she threw up.

"Baby doll, you okay?" I followed her and held her hair back. She nodded as she cleaned her face.

Before John can shout at me for touching his daughter

"Dad, I'm pregnant." She said, as she wiped her face with a Kleenex.

"What?" everyone shouted.

"Yes, dad. I am pregnant with Damon's child. And before you say anything let me explain please. Dad, I grew up with the values you gave me and I respect them, but I love this man, he loves me, he loves me enough to lie to you, he loves me enough to be like us even though this is not him," she said as she held my hand.

"Are you kidding me? Should I be a proud that you destroyed the legacy of our godly family," John said. "A child out of wedlock, daughter, you sinned, this is a sin,"

"This is our love, dad." Elena said, her hand on her stomach.

"I can accept this man as the father of your child, he is immoral-,"

"Dad, he loves me, isn't that enough, he's a good person, he is a good man, he will be with me till the day one of us die, till death do us part, do you know dad, we were trying to get pregnant, our doctor told us that there was rare chance that we could ever, he could have left me then and there, he could have chosen someone less problematic, more fertile, you know the kind of woman you'd want for Jeremy, but he stayed, he stayed dad, he made me laugh when I thought I was worthless, he cried with me when I lost my first baby, dad, he would never leave and that's what I love the most about him, I don't care about his past, I'm proud of who he is. My fiancé is an ex porn star and I am proud of him." She led my hand to her heart.

John sighed a heavy sigh after hearing everything. He looked at me in the eye and after a brief silence, he spoke, "I'll kill you if you ever hurt her,"

"I would rather die," I meant every word.

"Well, then welcome to the family," He said, opening his hands wide in a hug.

Awkwardly, I returned the gesture as the family awed.

"Sweet. We're finally a cool family, I can't wait to tell my friends that the hot boy from our favorite adult movie is Elena's boyfriend," Grandma Jo said proudly.

"Mother, for god sake,"

"Shut up, John, I have needs too you know."

While the situation turned back to normal, we left the fighting mother son duo and I dragged Elena to a side.

"What?" She asked me.

"You owe me a kiss," I said, pointing at the mistletoe.

She rolled her eyes. "Like you need that excuse."

I leaned in and eagerly took her lips in a kiss, oh, how I loved kissing her, it was better than breathing, so soft, so sweet.

"Promise me this is forever," She murmured, her lips, still atop mine.

"I promise," I replied. And I meant it. This was our happily ever after.

..

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So finally the end.

Do review. I'd love to know your thoughts. I hope John and Damon's equation made you laugh. Please review as it would mean the world to me!

The devil Obsession last chapter will be up soon.

A super angsty story coming up soon as well.


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